What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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want to go home? yea

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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why did the man die? he got shot

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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knock knock come in

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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