What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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marble

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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You're so straight!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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