What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

A black succeeds

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

The chicken crossed the road.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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