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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

The government makes a good decision

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Women Drivers.

SPAMS!!!

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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