What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Jews for Jesus

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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Turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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