Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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69

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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come along children

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Why Because

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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knock knock you may come in

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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