- Anti Joke

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

69

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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