-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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25

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops