I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

thumb_up thumb_down

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops