What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops