Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +1

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I AM DISSAPOINTED

thumb_up thumb_down -5

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops