Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Lacrosse

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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25

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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