Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black succeeds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops