Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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nine...eleven

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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