Lacrosse

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

Thumbs this up

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Knock knock! Yes?

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

So this blonde walks into a library.

Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please

What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...