How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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An Irishman stays home

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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