roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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This joke isnt funny.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Hello world

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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