The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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beiber i straight

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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