So one time this woman was learning...

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make me a sandwich!

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Hello world

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops