Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Women's rights

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Penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Freedom of Speech

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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