Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -97

The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Black Poeple

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops