Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i wish i was a tree !

thumb_up thumb_down -17

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops