There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why Because

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops