How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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apple pie.

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William Raines.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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