Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops