Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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