How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

Golf.

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

Women rights.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

What will happen when a black person die they die

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

An Irishman stays home

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

johann grayson being liked

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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