What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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A Jew returns change.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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This is not a joke.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Women Drivers.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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