Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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The Aristocrats

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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