- Anti Joke

25

Hi poop!

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

Chocolate tastes good.

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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