How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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What is Jason? Black.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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poop.........

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chuck norris

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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I have no joke. u mad?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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