Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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