there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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The jets are a good team..

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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