Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Myspace

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops