Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Shit.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Small breasts.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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anus soup

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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penis

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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