What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Baseball

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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