I have no joke. u mad?

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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GooglePlus.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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