A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Penis

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NEVER

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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