What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Dallas Cowboys

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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