Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What break when you talk?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops