Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

A baby seal walks into a club.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

The Aristocrats

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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