Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Religion

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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