What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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Lacrosse

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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