jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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