blargen fa-diddle nachen!

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

What's upside down? umop apisdn

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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