How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops