A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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