A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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silver bullet?

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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no rasist joks

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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