What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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