What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

i saw amango it splootered

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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