A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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PENIS

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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