What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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