Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -32

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops