What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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