you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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