Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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