- Anti Joke

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

* anti-punchline

Vote this down and get DOXED

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

No your aunties a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

A hill billy went fishing

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??