Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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