A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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