There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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