A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Your big dick.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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