How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

like this or you will die at some point in your life

A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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