Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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