What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Brain fart

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Your mums a potato

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops