Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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How old are you? 7

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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