a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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hi michael

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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