Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Burp

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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