What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Yellow People !!

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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