Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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