Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I like the color potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

thumb_up thumb_down +1

salad days!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops