Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -17

T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops