YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Dyslexia ruels!

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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bite me

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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