How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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A man did not like this site

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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