What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Japan

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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