What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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