What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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