Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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