Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops