A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops