What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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