pobody's nerfect

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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9/11 my birthday

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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