Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Donald Trump

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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