How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

13 =B you just learned something

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops