Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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