A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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