Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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