Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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