Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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