A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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