What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops