Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops