How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

. . I am a whale

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

What did john say to bob Hey bob

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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