How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

Knock knock Fuck off!

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

Your big dick.

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...