What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

thumb_up thumb_down -47

If you just read this, You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

thumb_up thumb_down +22

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops