How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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