friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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hi michael

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops