What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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