Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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