if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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