Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to here a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops