Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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