You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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