knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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hi

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops