What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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