A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Hello

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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