So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

Women's rights.

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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