- Anti Joke

time to spruce up!

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Fat? Jesse Z

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

I have a really funny joke.

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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