What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're so sweet I have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops