Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Your big dick.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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sky silverstein

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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