What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops