How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops