whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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