What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...