What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops