Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Sex

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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