How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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