Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops