Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

sky's sty

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

Hail Hitler

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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