Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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whats green and lives in the water

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A house comes around the corner.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops