Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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a man checks his mypsace

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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