there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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