What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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