A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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pobody's nerfect

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Cripples are lame.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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