I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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outside your comfort zone

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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