What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops