What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Jimmy Saville

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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