A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

These Jokes suck.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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