What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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These Jokes suck.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops